The Magic of Empathy
To get past a difficult emotion, you need to first identify and embrace that emotion. Once you know what you are feeling and why, you are able to move into a state of mind that allows for more effective problem solving and decision making. When someone tells you to calm down, they are basically suggesting that you skip right past this step and move immediately to the problem solving state of mind. That’s just not how we work. We need that in-between step of identifying the tough feeling and sitting with it for a minute before we can move forward. What’s missing when someone says “calm down” is empathy.