From Greedy to Grateful in 112 Easy Steps

Thanks­giv­ing is tomor­row, so I thought we’d talk about our ungrate­ful lit­tle brats, whoops, I mean our lit­tle dar­ling angels for a minute. But seri­ous­ly, kids can appear to be rather greedy and self-cen­tered at times. It’s in their nature. They are hard-wired for sur­vival but don’t yet under­stand the dif­fer­ence between ​“wants” and ​“needs.” So when they are los­ing their mind because you won’t buy them can­dy at the gro­cery store a mere twen­ty min­utes after you bought them some­thing at the toy store, it’s because their devel­op­ing brains are mis­in­ter­pret­ing your ​“no” as a threat to their needs being met.

Illog­i­cal, maybe. Annoy­ing, def­i­nite­ly. But the abil­i­ty to be thank­ful isn’t born in — it’s a skill that has to be learned.

Here Are Some Sim­ple Ways To Teach Your Kids The Fine Art Of Gratitude…

Mod­el Gratitude

Say thank you to the cashier at the store, the per­son that holds the door, your fam­i­ly, every­one. Your chil­dren will hear how you treat oth­ers and will do as you do. When you have a moment of grat­i­tude, say it out loud. ​“I’m so thank­ful it’s final­ly bedtime!”

Vol­un­teer Your Time

There is always some pro­gram, orga­ni­za­tion, or char­i­ty that needs help. Sign up and bring the kids. Help­ing those less for­tu­nate than our­selves has a way of open­ing our eyes to what it means to have and have not. It’s nev­er too ear­ly to teach kids the val­ue of giv­ing their time to a wor­thy cause.

Write Thank You Notes

Well-writ­ten thank you notes make the world go ​‘round accord­ing to moms of a cer­tain gen­er­a­tion. But don’t leave thank you note writ­ing just for birth­day and wed­ding gifts. Teach your chil­dren to write thank-you notes to their bus dri­vers, the mail per­son, or their teacher. The act of writ­ing and deliv­er­ing such notes is one of the best ways to help a child rec­og­nize how good being thank­ful can feel.

Ran­dom Acts of Kindness

Show your chil­dren the spir­it of gen­eros­i­ty by com­mit­ting ran­dom acts of kind­ness such as pay­ing for oth­ers’ meals, gro­ceries, gas, cof­fee, etc. Go out of your way to help some­one who is strug­gling to car­ry some­thing heavy. Teach and encour­age them to be help­ful to kids at school or in the com­mu­ni­ty. Help them to expe­ri­ence the joy of being kind to oth­ers when they are little.

Teach the Dif­fer­ence Between Wants and Needs

In the words of a child I know, ​“Wants are things you don’t need but, like, you real­ly want them but some­times mom and dad say you can’t have them until you eat your broc­coli.” Spot on, right? Start talk­ing about and point­ing out the dif­fer­ence when they are lit­tle and their under­stand­ing will devel­op as they grow.

Keep Grat­i­tude Lists

I keep a list on my phone of peo­ple who help me out, do kind things, or gen­er­al­ly make the world a bet­ter place. Then, when I have a minute or a few extra dol­lars, I’ll send them a text, a note, or a small gift to show my appre­ci­a­tion. You can do this project as a fam­i­ly, help­ing your kids to notice and reach out to the kind peo­ple and the helpers in their lives.

Look on the Bright Side

In dif­fi­cult sit­u­a­tions, be mind­ful­ly grate­ful. Sure, your ten-year-old may have just shrieked in pub­lic that you are the most annoy­ing thing in the whole world. But as your anger sim­mers, take a moment to be grate­ful she’s healthy enough to reach that octave. (And that you have enough self-con­trol to stay silent, at least until you get home!) Teach your chil­dren to do this by point­ing out the good in painful or dis­ap­point­ing sit­u­a­tions. Remem­ber, they’re always watch­ing you. That reads much creepi­er than I meant for it to.

Have Your Kids Earn What They Want

We gen­er­al­ly have more appre­ci­a­tion for the things we earn or work hard for than we do for things that come free. Does your kid want a new video game sys­tem? Help him make a list of chores and tasks to do to earn that item. Those big-tick­et items will be more appre­ci­at­ed if they’ve con­tributed to the process of acquir­ing them.

Imple­ment Occa­sion­al ​“Less Is More” Days

Many of today’s kids suf­fer from a bad case of ​“affluen­za” or the sense of enti­tle­ment that comes with hav­ing all of your needs and wants sat­is­fied on a dai­ly basis. If you’ve nev­er been with­out, it’s dif­fi­cult to real­ly appre­ci­ate all that you have. Choose spe­cif­ic days where the entire fam­i­ly will go with­out some tak­en-for-grant­ed con­ve­niences. You can try things like inter­net access, elec­tron­ic devices, or oth­er things your kids seem to think they ​“need.” On those days, be sure to talk with your kids about their expe­ri­ence. Help them to see that many chil­dren in our own com­mu­ni­ty don’t have those things at all.

Start Dai­ly Grat­i­tude Practices

Build rou­tines sur­round­ing grat­i­tude in your day to day sched­ules. Begin the day by ask­ing your kids what they are thank­ful for or make this part of your din­ner con­ver­sa­tion or bed­time rou­tine. Buy a bunch of those adorable lit­tle note­books at the dol­lar store and teach your kids how to keep a grat­i­tude jour­nal. In case you’re won­der­ing how to keep a grat­i­tude jour­nal, you just list or describe the things for which you’re grate­ful each day. For exam­ple, here’s my entry for today: I’m thank­ful the pup­py only bit a hole in one gar­ment today as com­pared to three yes­ter­day. Also, I’m thank­ful for cof­fee. Let’s be hon­est, this goes on the list every day.

Thank you for read­ing – I appre­ci­ate you tak­ing time to check out this post!

See what I did there? 

Hap­py Thanksgiving!

Nik­ki