Fa-la-la-la-lahhhhh!: Holiday Drama

It’s begin­ning to look a lot like Christ­mas. Well, as I’m writ­ing this, it’s near­ly 50 degrees and rain­ing so it seems more like East­er but all the fes­tive lights and trees and inflat­able yard dec­o­ra­tions would sug­gest oth­er­wise. This, the most won­der­ful time of the year, with all its glit­ter and fruit­cake, also brings more than its share of stress. Here are a few com­mon hol­i­day prob­lems and tips for han­dling them.

Prob­lem #1:

The hol­i­day sea­son brings out the best in human­i­ty — gen­eros­i­ty, gift-giv­ing, ran­dom acts of kind­ness. But hol­i­day recitals, con­certs, and oth­er peo­ples events can bring out the dark­er side of human nature.

Crowd­ed park­ing lots, stores, and audi­ences seem to trig­ger our fight or flight response, so instead of kind­ness, we see ran­dom acts of road rage and snark. Maybe it’s because we are all just so darn excit­ed to pick up that whick­er rein­deer for Aunt Thel­ma that we can’t tol­er­ate the thought of being held up by anoth­er per­son or vehi­cle. But here’s the thing…everyone wants to get into or out of that store, park­ing lot, or recital hall just as much as you do. There is no need to flip the bird, mut­ter obscen­i­ties, or give the stink eye. Your aggres­sive response will only cre­ate more of the same. Take a slow deep breath (watch out for germs!) count to 10, put a smile on your face (it’s def­i­nite­ly okay to fake it here), and move toward the exit with as much kind­ness as you can muster.

Prob­lem #2:

Over-Sug­ared, Under-Napped Chil­dren Are Every­where This Time Of Year.

Our sched­ules are jacked up and every­one and their grand­mas are giv­ing your kids can­dy and cook­ies and hot choco­late. O Holy Night! This is the per­fect recipe for melt­downs, pow­er strug­gles, and par­ents hid­ing in the coat clos­et with cock­tails. Since they’re going to find you there with­in a few min­utes any­way, here are some ideas for deal­ing with this hol­i­day prob­lems. First, try to main­tain your kids’ typ­i­cal sched­ule of sleep­ing and eat­ing. Let them have the treats but in small quan­ti­ties at a time. When the sug­ar-high reach­es its peak, give them a break from all the noise and chaos. A few min­utes out­side, a cud­dle or a short walk can help them re-reg­u­late their lit­tle sys­tems. Talk about your expec­ta­tions for behav­ior before you get to gath­er­ings or par­ties. And if none of that works, scope out the near­est clos­et and head for cover!

Prob­lem #3:

This Time Of Year Can Be Excep­tion­al­ly Dif­fi­cult For Those Griev­ing Loved Ones.

If grief is impact­ing you or some­one close to you, know that it’s nor­mal for it to be more present now than it was even a few weeks ago. Let your­self feel what you feel — anger, sad­ness, fear, resent­ment — it’s all nor­mal. Stay busy but allow for some down­time. You don’t have to be the embod­i­ment of hol­i­day cheer this year or even next. Spend time with oth­ers when pos­si­ble, lone­li­ness enhances grief as noth­ing else can. The key is to start cre­at­ing new tra­di­tions with fam­i­ly and friends while still tak­ing time to hon­or mem­o­ries of the past. Seek addi­tion­al sup­port from a coun­selor or the pas­tor at your church if grief is over­whelm­ing you this hol­i­day season.

Prob­lem #4:

You’re Host­ing Din­ner And Uncle Jim Starts Talk­ing Pol­i­tics Over The Christ­mas Ham.

For some fam­i­lies, a good heat­ed debate is the main course and some­thing to be enjoyed but for oth­ers, this can get ugly. There are options. You can change the sub­ject. Pinch the baby. Spill your drink on the per­son sit­ting next to you. Or, you could take the more assertive approach and tell Uncle Jim that this might not be the best time to bring up that top­ic and then start retelling the sto­ry of (insert your family’s favorite hilar­i­ous mem­o­ry here).

Prob­lem #5:

The Sea­son Of Giv­ing, While Fun For The Kids, Tends To Give Adults Heartburn.

Many ​“hol­i­day prob­lems” pop up regard­ing hol­i­day gift-giv­ing. Exchanges with peo­ple you bare­ly know, insuf­fi­cient funds, over­spend­ing, the kids want­i­ng what you can’t afford but think­ing San­ta can make any­thing in his work­shop. Thanks, San­ta. Thanks a lot. As you fin­ish your shop­ping this year, here’s a test to keep in mind. Ask your kids what they got for Christ­mas last year. Do you remem­ber what you got? You will prob­a­bly remem­ber a few things but most of the gifts we receive bring us just a few moments of joy before fad­ing from our mem­o­ries. Putting pres­sure on your­self to buy the per­fect gift for every­one is unnec­es­sary stress and wast­ed ener­gy. Going into the New Year with debt isn’t worth it for gifts that will like­ly be for­got­ten. So be thought­ful, but stay with­in your bud­get. A lit­tle hint: Gifts that bark are gen­er­al­ly quite memorable.

Hap­py Hol­i­days And Thanks For Read­ing! We Hope You Beat These Hol­i­day Problems.

See you next year,

Nik­ki